I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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