No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
whose parrot is this?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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