He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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