You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
there is glitter all over my balls
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