i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
