I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
