While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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