I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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