Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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