I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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