You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well I just put wine in my tea
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
