you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
