apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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