is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
