Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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