Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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