he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
