Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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