you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize