Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
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The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
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The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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