Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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