Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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