Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
