i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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