no, he came in my armpit
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
