I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
