careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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