if i can run in heels then i can drive
I will die if light touches me.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
