dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize