i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
