How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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