new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
