He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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