how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
