did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
