Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
