Me too!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
