I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
