he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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