4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
