ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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