I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
