the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
