You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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