I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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