Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
