So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Randomize