now i know why i became what i already was.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
