I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
