Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
