u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
