I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
