I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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