I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
