i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
