Screwed.edu
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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