i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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