Define "chronic" masturbator.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
