You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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