Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
