found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
