....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
