I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
