it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
