Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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