You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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