He kissed a someone with a penis
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
