I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
