she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
