You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
