There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
